Adjusting

written 3/12/06 to friends asking about his return:

Last night the bedroom was really really hot (temperature-wise).... so that's different.. I've been freezing my ass off all winter.  It's funny to realize how much extra body heat is being put out with just one extra body in there... I'm adjusting the radiator today.

We dragged ourselves out of bed at 3 AM to pick him up at the hangar.  The guys arrived and did what they needed to do behind the scenes, while the families had slide shows to watch (if they arrived early).  Once all the guys were done (checking in weapons, etc), they walked into the hangar in formation and of course, thunderous applause rings out.  A  very quick "welcome home" speech and then the guys were dismissed.  Here we are (the family members), looking out over a sea of desert camos.  I can't answer for anyone else, but I couldn't pick Paul out from the rest of the group (a first for me EVER).   Once the troops started dispersing, I stood up on the bleachers and looked ..... there is this guy smiling and waving at us, and I'm thinking... who's that?   LMAO... suddenly I realize it's Paul and that's it... we're running towards each other, I'm leaving my kids in the dust!! It was a good reunion! 

The only thing that is weird to me is how easily he slips back into our lives and yet, I'm feeling very territorial about certain things .... I've managed not to say anything mean thus far.  I have asked that we put some things off for discussion until I was ready to discuss them too and he's been respecting that.... so it's alright so far :)  But everything else is very good...  I'm loving all the kissing... he he he

 

Another note written on 3/13 to further explain my territorial comments.

okay... LOL.. some of this is kind of funny, which is why I've not said anything to him... it's MY issue, you know?   But...for example...after having my bathroom all to myself for a year.. I now have to share... which means thinking about not leaving clothes on the floor and being polite "ish" about other things.  And I noticed that his toothbrush drips on the counter more than mine does... so every time he puts his toothbrush in a new place on the counter, there is a new little ring being formed. 

 

Then.. on the computer desk (which I had just straightened out before he got home, he's starting to put things on it.... without asking.. so when I come and sit here.. I'm going.. "hmmm...  that wasn't there before.. "...  Again.. my issue.

 

The thing we had to talk out was how we were going to use some "found" money.  He filed our taxes and then discovered he'd shorted us some money and had to file an addendum or something... So the first check went to pay off our van, but the second check (I thought) was going to pay for our vacation next month.  So he gets home the day after I get the second check... we sign it and get it set to be mailed to our bank.... and he says.. "I was thinking of using that check to pay for.... " and I cut him off... I threw up my hand and said.. "No, that money was for vacation"... and he said "but if you would just listen".. and I told him.. "no.. I can't listen right now".... this is one of the places where we are very different.  Handling finances.. .. he's all about paying off stuff fast, but sometimes it's to the detriment of our "fun" money.  Well... he backed off.. and later when I was ready to listen.. we talked about it... once I was ready to listen, it was much easier to understand his plan (we still get a lot of money for vacation), so I was ready to bite off on his plan at that point.

 

Now, from his point of view.. he's having a hard time NOT having something to do every minute of the day.  To go from being at work 24/7 to coming back here and being essentially with a lot of free time... he's struggling with not jumping up and re-arranging my whole house.

 

 

Present day:

After arriving home the troops go through the re-integration process on post.  Each day for seven days, they meet with the various clinics and what not to get everything back in order.  Yesterday was the day they met with the Chaplain and the ACS people.  It was all about re-integrating into the family unit, the community, etc. Spouses were invited and free child care provided for those families that needed it.

I went because I wanted to hear what "they" were telling the guys about how to handle changes at home, etc.  Well.. a lot of it was covered in the briefing the spouses got before the guys started coming home.  Some of it was good.. some of it didn't really apply to us.  I went hoping they would really emphasize the whole territorial feelings thing, but they didn't.

Afterwards.... Paul and I went up to Wuerzburg, which is a 45 minute drive.  We had a long discussion in the car about the few things we've been tangling over.  I think we finally have everything settled- for now- as "they" emphasized at the class yesterday.. this doesn't happen overnight or even in seven days.. but we are talking and trying to find that middle ground where we can compromise. 

I am so happy that he is home and safe and with us again.  And I know that a lot of these issues are going to be gone in no time.  We have been doing a good job talking as opposed to fighting, but there have been a couple of flare ups.  We'll get this worked through.... we always do.