Confused- And trying to journal for a weeks worth of stuff

I'm confused because I could have sworn that I wrote an entry a couple of days ago.  But now that I write this... I think I started one and then elected to delete/not save it.

I've been living in the land of denial the last few weeks (months?).  I haven't really done much of anything except the few things I absolutely HAD to do to keep the family running.

Well.. that's not completely true either.  The kids had their Spring break from school the first week of April.  The girls and I went to the Holocaust museum (Mac didn't want to go) on that Sunday.. and then Wednesday, April 4 we (again just the girls and me) went on a one day bus trip to NYC to see Tarzan on Broadway.

We didn't really get to spend a lot of time on the NYC streets, but I have to say what little I saw reminded me very much of some of the cities we visited in Europe.

We have been having a pretty busy month. The prom is Saturday night and both girls are going.  We've shopped for dresses and jewelry, for transportation and everything else.  But today are the hair appointments.  Simple enough.. just trims (they both intend to wear their hair straight down.. no fancy do for either of them).  Tonight we'll be sitting at home giving ourselves pedicures. 

Monday I went on a field trip with Kim's Algebra2 class.  We went to the Spy Museum in DC. Very cool.  Not enough time to see it all though.  It's on my list for another visit.

Of course... being on the field trip kept me out of the news loop and I was shocked to get back in the afternoon and hear all the sad news coming up from Virginia Tech. 

During a conversation with a friend of mine, she stated that now her son is really shook up and unsure that he wants to go anywhere.  It is upsetting, even more so for the families and friends of those involved. But we can't allow the shadows that are out there to dampen the sun all the time. I struggle with this everytime that our children reach a new level of autonomy. I can't protect them from all the dangers out there. All I can do is give them thebest all around knowledge of safe behavior and trust that they will be okay.

You really can't anticipate every possible bad thing that could happen.  And I do believe that if we obsess on it too much, we can draw that negative energy into our lives.

The problem with tragedies like this is that for all the information the gunman left behind, I don't think that it can ever give us the understanding that we look for to explain away such senseless waste of human life.  There is no comfort to be found in understanding someone so off the mark from the rest of us.

Our prayers go out to everyone affected by this great tragedy.

 

Wednesday Paul's parents were in DC on their way to Upstate NY.  We were able to spend about an hour with them.  Paul's mom looks pretty good considering all she's been through lately, but she also looks so much smaller than she seemed the summer of 2005.  I know that Paul is worried about her and her health. I'm glad we had a chance to spend this little bit of time with them.  On their way back, their connecting flight is through Cinncinati, so I know we wont be able to see them then.

Well.. I know this has been a bit of a ramble.  Guess that's what happens when journalling takes a back seat to everything else.  I'm still in denial.. but I think I'm just about ready to get up and get started again.