Thursday, May 31, 2007

Waiting to see

The Army Aviation Community is small. Every time Paul and I hear of another helicopter crash, we cringe and we wait.  Will it be a friend of ours this time?  Will it be one of the many pilots that Paul has trained over the years (Paul spent 3 years as an instructor pilot at Ft. Rucker)?

And if it isn't someone we know, is it someone one of our current friends/colleagues know?

Waiting is tough on us, when we are removed from the direct path of knowledge.  For the families of the units involved, it has got to be so much worse.

When Paul was in Afghanistan, it was the policy (at that time) to shut down personal/private communications until the family was notified of accidents and/or deaths.  Out of respect to the idea that the NOK should be the first to know, efforts were made to be sure that the news didn't leak out through unofficial channels. 

So even though the families are informed as soon as possible.. it's still got to be tough to hear the basic news reports on the tv and then sit and wait.  Your soldier can't contact you directly to let you know he/she is okay.  You have to wait. The NOK deserves to know first.  So you wait. You hope, you pray, you bargain... and you wait. And you hope you aren't the first to know.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

25 years, A retrospective

 
Looking back on my life
Through the eyes of a young girl,
growing older every day,
maybe a little wiser.
 
I can clearly see
All my mistakes are coming back
to visit me
warning of the roads not taken
 
Some things I'd like to change,
But one thing I'd do the same...
 
 
I'd choose you again,
If God gave me the chance to  do it all again
I'd carefully consider every choice and then
Out of all the boys in the world
I'd choose you again.
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How do you measure 25 years? While I know that everyone's 25 years are going to contain different milestones... here are some of the ones that Paul and I have hit over the last 25 years.
 
1 miscarriage
3 births = 2 daughters and 1 son
15 moves
7 surgeries (for daughter)
2 deaths of family members
5 deaths of service member friends
4 weddings in the family (not counting ours)
3 nieces
5 nephews
6 years of military induced separations
1 marital separation ( short lived, but still)
4 years of dating before marriage
And the realization that comes from weathering all the storms, that if you are going to go through hell on earth, this one person.. is the one that you want by your side as you go through it!
 
Happy Anniversary Paul!  I love you!
 

Monday, May 28, 2007

Take Back Memorial Day

Every once in a while I run across an opinion that says what I am feeling so much more eloquently than I could.  Here is the link for the whole article- Take Back Memorial Day .

Here is the part I was especially moved by and wanted to be sure everyone had the chance to see.

 

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Take Back Memorial Day written by Christopher Michel

This freedom is a gift across time, given most often anonymously.  And now it is Memorial Day.  How can Americans take it back and do right by the valor that created this day?

By action.  For starters, the National Moment of Remembrance resolution asks that at 3 PM local time on Memorial Day all Americans should “voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence.”

Beyond that, Americans can honor the dead by supporting the living, especially those who serve.  Send a note or visit the family of a servicemember who has died.  Visit a veteran who is convalescing.  Make a donation to the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, Armed Forces Relief Trust, or the Armed Services YMCA.  Volunteer to work with local veterans’ groups. Encourage your employer to publicly recognize the veterans who work with you.  Better yet, commit to hire veterans or military spouses in the coming year.

Visit the graves of fallen soldiers.  Leave a flower on the stone.  Consider the grave and behold the cost of freedom.

Or simply shake a Soldier’s hand.  Support for the troops is more than a sticker on an SUV.  Whatever we do, let’s make it personal, not commercial.

Let us take back Memorial Day, not for abstract ideas or guilt for having forgotten, but to pay a debt.  To remember—and to act on the memory—is the least we can do for the men and women who said, “I will die so strangers’ lives will be better.”  Make Memorial Day a personal reflection of a stranger’s costly gift.

Thank you, MySpace

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Iraq's War Dead Live On - Online
Associated Press  |  May 28, 2007
WASHINGTON - Army Pvt. Clinton Tyler McCormick is buried in Florida, but his photo and his words are still online. They haven't changed since he logged in to his MySpace.com profile on Dec. 26, 2006 - the day before he was killed by a makeshift bomb in Baghdad.

In earlier wars, families had only the letters that Soldiers sent home; often, bits and pieces were removed by cautious censors. Iraq is the first war of the Internet age, and McCormick is one of many fallen Soldiers who have left ghosts of themselves online - unsentimental self-memorials, frozen and uncensored snapshots of the person each wanted to show to the world.

Army Pfc. Johnathon Millican of Trafford, Ala., wrote on his MySpace page before he was killed in Karbala, Iraq: "You don't have to love the war but you have to love the warrior."

"I am a paratrooper, that means that I jump from a perfectly good airplane into who knows what," wrote Millican, who was 20 when he died. He never had the chance to move back to the southern United States, as his profile says he wanted to do.

McCormick, 21 when he died, also was from the South. "Dixie boy," his profile proclaims in big letters outlined in red. His photograph is a faraway headshot with an ironing board propped up against a white wall in the background. McCormick isn't smiling.

Bob Patrick, an Army veteran who runs the Veterans History Project at the Library of Congress, says, "War as we know it and as we're taught through schools, in most cases it's through the filter ... of a historian." MySpace pages, he says, "are grass-roots stories on the foxhole level, or the cockpit level."

YOUNG DEAD

The phenomenon is growing because the war dead are young - as of March 24, more than three-fourths of those killed in Iraq were 30 years old or younger - and comfortable putting personal information online.

"A lot of the younger Soldiers, especially young enlisted Soldiers, have a MySpace page," says Army Sgt. Tom Day, one of the living who has served three tours in Iraq and is currently deployed to Kuwait. MySpace has more than 100 million registered users.

The result has been pictures of war that are "much more personal and much more public," said the History Project's Patrick. "That's a function of technology."

The number of Soldiers who leave behind online profiles could drop after the Pentagon's recent announcement that servicemembers deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan won't be able to access MySpace and other social Web sites from Defense Department computers. But the new rules don't affect commercial or private computers - so Soldiers will still be able to create profiles from their homes in the U.S. before they leave. They can also use Internet cafes or commercial connections to maintain their profiles from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Even if the Pentagon blocks Soldiers from accessing MySpace, Facebook or other sites, people will find a way to use the latest technologies to remember the fallen, said Peter Bartis, a senior program specialist at the Veterans History Project.

"There is a part of the human psyche that wants to memorialize important people in their lives and important places," Bartis said. "I think that cutting it off is interfering with a normal human behavior and that human behavior will find another way of doing it."

MySpace, a unit of News Corp., has had to deal with the issue. "We often hear from families that a user's profile is a way for friends to celebrate the person's life, giving friends a positive outlet to connect with one another and find comfort during the grieving process," said Dani Dudeck, a MySpace spokeswoman.

MySpace won't delete a profile for inactivity, and it also won't let anyone else control a deceased member's profile.

Family and friends can create different memorial profiles as long as they comply with the site's rules, and families can have a fallen Soldier's profile deleted.

That could be a relief to some families because profiles suddenly frozen sometimes violate the tradition of not speaking ill of the dead. Some profiles linked to Soldiers' names include references to using illegal drugs or ethnic slurs for Iraqis. And some pages are rife with the profanity often forgiven in war zones.

"Soldiers are Soldiers, and Soldiers use language when they're in the middle of battle that they wouldn't use at home," said Patrick.

Before his death in Iraq last year, Army Pfc. Nathaniel Given of Dickinson, Texas, posted a survey on his MySpace page that posed the question, "Do you swear?"

He answered: "What the (expletive) do you think, I'm in the infantry."

PUBLIC GRIEF

The profiles also have become public outlets and displays for grieving loved ones. Sgt. Day said that if the worst happened to him, he would want his MySpace profile to stay up. "I would hope people would save their photos and remember the good times we had and not dwell too much on how I went," he said.

Rev. John Harwell, who ministered to Pvt. McCormick at the Evangel Temple Assembly of God church in Jacksonville, Fla., discovered the Army private's page after he died. "We left up MySpace for people as a guestbook sort of, for people to come and give thoughts and condolences," Harwell said in an interview.

McCormick, who went by his middle name, Tyler, had a tough family life, Harwell said. He was adopted at age 6, but didn't get along with his adopted mother and spent some time living with another member of the church.

"He really didn't have a family, it's one of the reasons he went into the military," Harwell said. "When we read MySpace, we said, 'Who are all these people that Tyler was connected with, that we've never known before?'"

They are MySpace "friends" who have left comments attached to his profile - they didn't have to visit a grave and leave flowers to say goodbye. Months later, some are still coping.

"I can't believe this. It's my worst fear come true. I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to accept this ... to know that you're not coming home to me and I'll never get to see your face and hold you in my arms where you belong," Stacey Zeller, Tyler McCormick's fiance, wrote the day after he died.

Zeller, a 20-year-old student at the State University of New York-Canton, said in an e-mail to The Associated Press that she and McCormick planned to marry when he got out of the military. She said he sent a mysterious package from Iraq with instructions not to open it until he came home on leave, scheduled for February.

She opened it when she found out he had died. "It was an engagement ring along with the wedding band," she said.

She posts on his MySpace page because it helps her deal with losing him. "It's a way for me to feel like I can still communicate to him, still get my thoughts and feelings out," she said.

"You and God are where I pull my strength from every day," she wrote on March 19, months after McCormick's death, "just to get out of bed and continue on."

Saturday, May 26, 2007

There HAS to be a special place in Hell for people like this.

My heart and prayers go out to the family of Cameron Smith.
 
Police Say Iraq GI's Son Beaten to Death
AP
 
Chicago Tribune

Talk About It:
CALUMET CITY, Ill. (May 26) - A man beat his girlfriend's 4-year-old son to death after she left the boy in his care while she was deployed to Iraq , police said.

Donell Parker, 23, was charged Friday with first-degree murder in the death of Cameron Smith. The boy was found dead in his bed Thursday in a suburb south of Chicago.

Parker told police he beat the boy, but would not say why, said Calumet City police Chief Patrick O'Meara.

Cameron was punched in the head, stomach and chest, and whipped with a belt from Tuesday to Wednesday evening, O'Meara said. An autopsy found he died of blunt-force trauma to the abdomen and head, O'Meara said.

The boy's 7-year-old sister and 8-year-old brother had also been in Parker's care, O'Meara said. They were put in the custody of their maternal grandparents after Cameron was found dead.

Cameron's mother, Sgt. Lavanda Smith, 28, was headed back to Illinois Friday after spending only ten hours at her new duty station in Iraq.

She was called to active duty in April with her Army National Guard unit and was sent to Fort Benning, Ga., on May 12 in preparation for deployment, said Lt. Col. Alicia Tate-Nadeau, an Illinois National Guard spokeswoman.

Family members said Cameron's father, Gary Smith Jr., 27, had been deployed to Iraq last August and last saw his three children on a brief leave in January. O'Meara said the children's parents were separated.

Family members said the Smiths had been married for eight years, and had both been in the military most of that time. O'Meara said Lavanda Smith had apparently been living with Parker for about a year.

Parker was scheduled to appear Saturday in bond court in suburban Markham, Ill. An official at the Cook County Circuit Court on Saturday could not immediately identify Parker's lawyer.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Let's Talk about the Elephant (and I don't really mean me)!

Well.. I procrastinated a bit too long on Tuesday and I missed the meeting, but did manage to get there in time to get an "official" weigh-in. 

I'm back up to 232.4.... not all the way to the starting point.. so there's at least that to be grateful about.

I haven't been in much of a mood to count points since I've got back from my mother.  I do alright through lunchtime and then it all goes to heck in a handbasket by dinner time.

But.. I've pulled out my sewing machine and I'm using my afternoons (starting this week) to sew quilt patches.  I love making quilts and I won't eat while I do them because I don't want to muss the fabric. It's working so far. 

I'm going to pull out the "big guns" starting tomorrow and start my exercise program again. I love how I feel when I get done, but if I wait too long in the morning to do it, I just can't get myself up and going.

I did walk 2 miles Tuesday afternoon, so there's a start. Next weigh in is on Tues. May 29th... mine and Paul's 25th Anniversary.

We are going to celebrate our anniversary and my birthday all wrapped up into one weekend on June 16-17.  We are heading to the Baltimore Oriole/Arizona Diamondback game and then spending the night at a B & B in Baltimore..Iam SO looking forward to it :)

Thursday, May 24, 2007

One sad ending

For the Anzack family:  I can't imagine the horror or the sorrow in realizing that your son is gone. My heart breaks for him and for you.

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BAGHDAD - A body recovered by Iraqi police from the Euphrates River south of Baghdad was identified as one of three American Soldiers abducted in an ambush claimed by al-Qaida, the military said Thursday.

Military officials told the family of Pfc. Joseph Anzack Jr. that a commanding officer identified the remains recovered from the river, but that DNA tests were still pending.

"They told us, 'We're sorry to inform you the body we found has been identified as Joe,'" the Soldier's aunt, Debbie Anzack, said Wednesday. "I'm in disbelief."

Anzack, 20, vanished along with the two others after their combat team was ambushed May 12 about 20 miles outside Baghdad. Five others, including an Iraqi, were killed in the ambush, subsequently claimed by al-Qaida.