Spoke with Paul tonight for a few minutes. We caught up on the latest news from each side. As we were winding down to hang up, I told him I would text him if I needed to talk to him, but otherwise I wouldn't anticipate hearing from him until later in the week.
He bursts out with a spontaneous, "I love you, you're wonderful!"
"Huh?"
He goes on to tell me that the other married men in his group have been made to feel guilty if they are not checking in with the wife twice a day "once in the morning, and once at night." He says he loves that I understand that he's doing important stuff right now and can't be worried about making the time to check in. He said, "I love where we are in our relationship, that I'm not made to feel guilty if I'm not calling you daily."
I did tell him, in defense of the other women that we went through that period too. When you are home alone with young children...you need to be able to share some of that with your partner even if he can't be home for it. Ours are kind of self-sustaining at this point and we just don't have the daily drama the same as when they were young (the other couples at this school are at the beginning of their nesting, where as we are about ready to boot out the fledglings).
Anyway, I know I had to have made him feel guilty back when the kids were young and he had to leave us for awhile. I know myself well enough to know that I did not suffer silently. He never complained about it to me back then, but it's interesting to hear how these other men feel about the guilt.
And, I love where we are too.
6 comments:
Hahaha, well I would wish my current boy (just back stateside from Iraq) would check in twice a day. Of course he won't but its hard to feel lonely....
I am trying this new age thing of just kinda letting him be. Unfortunately it isn't working! Well for him it is lol....
What a cool entry...to see how marriages evolve and how you and your husband communicate so well. :)
I know what you mean I prefer this stage so much more
hugs
Sherry
Wonderful entry Estela. Den has never been in the service but I've never been one to demand that we talk once or twice everday if one of us is out of town. Even if he were in the service, I'd be the same way. It's tough enough on the soldiers as it is without their families making them feel guilty.
Hugs,
D
OMG I finally feel better about the calling situation to hear you say it. I thought people thought I was the worst wife on the planet for not wanting the hub to call like he does. I dont want to know every single thing that the hub is doing. I rather hear it all at once after. I was thinking I should be greatful that he calls every chance he gets basicly when all I wanted to do is go to bed and not have to wait up until midnight and then not half hear him because of the guys all talking in the back ground. Dont get me wrong I am thankful that I get calls but fewer makes me more grateful when I get those. Hugggs, Robin
I've never been to "suffer in silence" either! Sounds like you found a good man.
Russ
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